Thursday, September 25, 2008

Finding Me

What has happened to me? I have always wanted to keep a journal but I guess Blogging is as close as I'll get. It's been very cathartic (my favorite word) in allowing me to express the goings on in our life-our joys and struggles. Somehow by pouring out my life online it's allowed me to process a whole lot more and find those things that I need to let go and those things that need attention. It is finding me. I get lost sometimes and lose perspective of what is important or maybe it is just letting life invade what needs attention. The doctors appointments, meetings- all of those things that push living life out of the way.

Last night my friend Lori came over and helped me work on a scrapbook for our fundraiser. It has been almost a year since I picked up my scrapbooking stuff -it's something I love and I've pushed it aside for almost a year. I found some pictures I need to scrap-like the gorgeous one above of Patrick on the beach. I also don't get to see Lori enough. We scrapped for almost 4 hours last night, shared a glass of wine and caught up on our lives. Lori and I had a big disagreement last year. The details aren't important. We've forgiven each other but she still can't forgive herself. Forgiving others is hard. Forgiving ourselves is even harder.

I've started blogging for the UU homeschooler blog. Very exciting and I've been having a ball with it. It's a great opportunity to let everyone know how our Unitarian principles and homeschooling are a perfect match. This morning, I sat on the playground with my youngest while Patrick and Morgan were at their sign language class. There were two other moms there, both Christian, and we had the lovliest conversation about our faiths and how it plays into homeschooling. They don't agree with my beliefs and admittedly, sometimes conversation is difficult and sometimes it is easier to keep quiet. But this morning it was relaxed and centered around how our churches provide comfort for us. When people ask if I homeschool for religious reasons I reply, "yes I do." Perhaps it does give them a false impression of what our beliefs are but recently it has opened some doors for conversation. It has also been another opportunity to find me-to express my own beliefs unabashedly, just as they do. Maybe it is why I am there-why I was placed there at that very moment.

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