Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Who In God's Name Gave You Scissors?

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Patrick was sitting doing his school work this morning. Really we were watching the town tree trimmers hack the trees for the season. Remind me to blog about the confrontation I had with the trimmer when he started to take down branches with baby birds in them. Anyway-another time.
So Patrick turns to me and says..."Hey mom-there is a hole in the curtain." I look closer. Hey-that looks suspiciously like.........A SCISSOR CUT! Now the 3 kids are lined up on the other side of the work table. The 9 year old and the 12 year old stare at me blankly. The 4 year old won't look at me and says under his breath......"It wasn't me."

HAH-GUILTY! No eye contact, busily coloring his paper. So nailed! Again he mumbles..."Wasn't Me." And then he begins whistling. That's it-that will distract me. Not wanting to accuse him of this crime, I examine the cut. It looks like the little black birds we used draw on our papers as kids. You know the ones-they look like little shaped V's or check marks. Now I know he did this. The two oldest kids use regular scissors and only the youngest uses the safety scissors. You would think that Frickin' safety scissors wouldn't cut curtains.

Then my youngest says, "at least they didn't cut the carpet in my room." I sit there for a minute not quite believing what I've heard. "What do you mean the carpet?"

"Yeah", he says, "The Scissors need to be sharpened-they won't cut the carpet."

Ok-I'll bite. "WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO CUT THE CARPET?" My voice was getting louder. Maybe he was making some arts and crafts and needed some hair for his creation. Maybe he was weaving a bed for the dog. Guess what his reply was?

"Because I had the scissors."
I wonder if that will work if I put a broom in his hand. Sigh.


Marybeth said...

Hilarious...Thanks for the good giggle. Chito's only weeks away from 4. Looks like we have some wonderful experiences on the horizon!!

Sara said...

O Goodness! How does the house ever survive them?