One Week Down

I've had my IV antibiotics for a week now. All I can say is wow. My MD warned me it would get worse before it got better. She wasn't kidding. Initially the antibiotics caused awful chest pain (not new to me just worse with the meds) and very bad shortness of breath. I had some weird virbrating muscle thingy going on (think your cell phone on vibrate all the time).

I'm on day 8 of antibiotics and feeling chained to my house for a couple of reasons. The antibiotics take an hour to come to room temperature and then take an hour (or so) to infuse and I get them twice a day. Depending on my symptoms, I may have to slow it down. So if I can't breathe, it takes longer for the meds to infuse. Not to mention the bouts of chest pain that send me into a total panic which makes it hard to breathe...and well you get the picture.  Last night, oh the headache and neck pain! I can't even call it a headache. It knocked me straight into bed at 7:30 pm and left me in tears and the narcotics didn't even help.

Today was lots of fun (not really) with very bad blurred vision. My computer screen is enlarged to 200%. I'm hoping my vision will clear up as time goes on cause if not I'm screwed. I can't drive right now (be thankful America) and the exhaustion is terrible. The profound exhaustion is beyond words. I nap like an old woman.

Along with this comes the immense guilt and feeling of being a burden to my family. My husband is doing everything and he has never once complained. He's carting the kids to soccer and friends houses, grocery shopping, running errands, working full time and he hooks up my IV each morning and night. The kids have learned to disconnect me, yes even the 7 year old. And I'm completely irritable and cranky. Don't I sound like a joy?

 Don't tell me (or any sick person) to not feel guilty or burdensome. It comes with the territory especially from someone like me who's always done a million different things at once. Yes, I know-slow down, take care of yourself. Please don't tell me that either because I really don't have a choice to do anything but that right now. I need to be responsible for my own decision making and will do what I feel I can handle.

I'm also asking that you not send me your alternative therapies, articles, potions, homeopathic remedies, magnetic bracelets, or suggest high doses of Vitamin C, ginger, tumeric or garlic- because it worked for you. I know you all mean well but it's all I can do to hold myself together at this point and processing one more piece of information isn't what I need to be doing.

The last thing a sick person needs to feel is that they are inadequate in their own decision making. I've had enough decision making taken away from me lately and in the past 3 years. Trust me, I've researched Lyme inside, outside and upside down. My Lyme Specialist is on top of it. I'll get through this.

I am drinking gallons of water with lemon every day. It's helping to detox. I'm eating high protein foods and staying away from yeasts and sugars that feed Lyme. I'm resting and doing all the things I'm supposed to.

Thanks for asking.